we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
