u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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