I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
