Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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