i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its about making memories worth repressing
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
