ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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