so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
