Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
