You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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