But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
im on a boat
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