It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
