Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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