foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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