Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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