I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
organizing the empties. That sober.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
