One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
