I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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