You can't special order awesome
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
