I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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