He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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