too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
