This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
