That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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