Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
