Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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