Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Small penises have feelings too.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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