U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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