she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
