Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize