why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
