P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize