Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
