i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
