some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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