six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
