you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
