we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
