Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
