It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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