My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
