worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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