I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ladies don't puke and tell
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
