I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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