Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
