what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
