kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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