He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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