I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
