Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
