Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
