whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize