yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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