Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
