used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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