i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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