Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Randomize
