Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize