Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
