plz talk dirty to me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
