If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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