You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
PANTIES FOUND
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