it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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