You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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