Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize