A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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