I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
