Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
